Matrescence and Mother’s Day
Matrescence: The Transformation We Aren’t Acknowledging
As I reflect on Mother’s Day, I’m noticing that motherhood is often talked about as though the baby is the only one being born.
But mothers are born too.
What is matrescence?
The term matrescence describes the enormous transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother.
It’s not just a moment, it’s a process.
A transformation that reshapes us:
physically
emotionally
psychologically
hormonally
socially
relationally
Much like adolescence, it is a developmental shift. A reorganisation of identity, roles, and sense of self.
And yet, in Western society, we’ve been slow to recognise it.
Although the term was first coined in the 1970s, it has only started entering more common conversation in the last decade. Even now, it often goes unrecognised.
As I type the word, autocorrect still tells me it’s a spelling mistake. What a telling reflection of how overlooked this profound transition still is.
Despite this, for so many women, the experience of it is undeniable.
Why so many mothers feel like they’re struggling
Without language or understanding for this transition, many mothers move through it feeling:
isolated
overwhelmed
guilty
unsure of themselves
like they’re somehow failing
Because motherhood doesn’t always feel the way they expected it would.
And days like Mother’s Day can quietly amplify that gap between expectation and reality.
The invisible weight of modern motherhood
For many women, matrescence can include navigating:
a loss or shift in identity
changes within relationships
being constantly touched, needed, or “on”
the pressure of returning to work
career uncertainty or compromise
never truly having a day off
decision fatigue
the invisible labour of holding the mental load for an entire family
feeling both overwhelmed and underappreciated
This isn’t a failure of motherhood.
It’s the reality of it, particularly in modern life, where many families are raising children with limited support, high expectations, and competing demands.
The paradox of motherhood
Motherhood is rarely one thing.
It can feel:
beautiful and lonely
fulfilling and overwhelming
grounding and identity-changing
You can deeply adore your children,
and still miss who you were before.
That doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It makes you human.
Motherhood is, in many ways, a constant holding of opposites, a quiet coexistence of joy and challenge, connection and loss, love and exhaustion.
Why this matters (and why I care so deeply)
This is one of the reasons I care so deeply about supporting families in the way that I do.
Because challenges, particularly around sleep, don’t exist in isolation.
They sit within a much bigger picture:
your nervous system
your mental load
your support network (or lack of one)
your relationship dynamics
your emotional capacity
the realities of your day-to-day life
When we understand matrescence, we begin to see that supporting sleep isn’t just about routines or techniques.
It’s about supporting the whole mother.
A gentle reminder this Mother’s Day
If you are in the thick of this transition, I want you to know:
You are allowed to find motherhood both beautiful and hard.
You are allowed to miss old versions of yourself while loving your children deeply.
You are allowed to need support.
To every mother navigating matrescence
You are not doing it wrong.
You are not alone in how you feel.
You are moving through one of the most profound transitions a person can experience.
And you are doing an incredible job 🤍
Jen x